Every millenial ever: human names for pets, pet names for humans.

Dog:

Dave

Their literal son, fruit of their loins; their flesh and blood:

Rett

I love this! Thanks for sharing

My cousin’s dog is named Grandpa and saying things like “I’m trying to get Grandpa not to lick his balls” or “Grandpa keeps eating shit in the backyard” just never is not funny

My sister didn’t really get the concept of names for pets when we were younger. We won some rabbits from a fair once and I named mine Licorice and she named hers Sarah. I’ll never forget the horrified look on my friend’s face when my mom once casually told my sister to, “Take some food out to Sarah’s pen, she’s been kicking at the bars all day!”

Making up demon names is fun and whimsical. Neth’sin the Ethereal Tormentor likes chin scratches, will rip strangers to shreds, and sometimes defiles laundry.

Reminds me of this Brooklyn Nine-Nine cold open about “Kelly”.

That’s why I always assume people are talking about their dogs.

Sam just graduated from college and Mary is finishing high school

Me: wow, they have to be so smart! What breed are they?

4. When they get out of the house and you’re screaming their name out on the street, a human name sounds like some terrible drama.

“Kelly! Kelly, come back! Come here, girl! Kelly, where are you? Kelly, I’ve got treats!”

“I wish I could lick my own balls like Bob can.”

Paul climbed on top of the refrigerator and he keeps hissing at me every time I open the freezer.

I told Justin if he didn’t behave, he’d have to sleep in the garage again. He’s only four, but he has to learn.

I caught David humping his sister again.

Taylor sounds controlling

Sorry, Tina is missing since this morning and i have to leave early to find her.

get home, shake snacks package, Tina appear out of nowhere